ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
