how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
