i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Randomize
