you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
my vag is so smooth its legendary
my sisters under your porch take her home
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
