whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Randomize
