I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
