I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
