She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize
