Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Randomize
