Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
