Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
