Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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