Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
