Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize
