if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
