My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
