I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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