We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
