I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
