i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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