A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
