Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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