next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Randomize
