apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
Randomize
