some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We are all done wearing pants today
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
