she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
