Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
