mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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