Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
