If that was your dad, he is hot
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
