It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
now i know why i became what i already was.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
