Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
