Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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