420 ftw
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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