I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
