im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
