you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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