I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Randomize
