Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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