My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
