So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
