I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
