Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
