I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
