The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Randomize
