the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
