dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
