ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize
