I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
