i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
